I've missed the last few weeks of 'A Photo Speaks A Thousand Words' due to being ill and other pregnancy related issues, but this week I'm back on the case! I love looking back on old photos and past life events but I've noticed that everything I write about recently seems to relate back to the big change that is coming our way......Baby B. I think that having such a huge moment upon us and feeling so excited to meet him, means that subconsciously I'm linking my memories and past challenges to my present day events without even realising. I have serious baby brain!
So in the essence of baby talk, my photo this week is of myself and my newly born nephew Baby T! My younger sister settled down much younger than I did and always knew that she wanted to be a mummy from day dot. Once she met the man she wanted to marry, they didn't waste any time and she was barely 21 years old she fell pregnant. I had graduated from university and had not long moved to London so my life was completely different! I was still trying to forge a career and find my identity whilst my sister had become a mother and a wife.
Before Baby T arrived in to the world nine years ago in 2007, I knew very little about babies and didn't even really know what maternal instincts meant. However, I did know the pub and bar map of Clapham High Street like the back of hand which was essential knowledge at the time! When Baby T arrived I headed back to Devon in a hurry to meet the little chap but with little expectations. Not that I didn't expect him to be gorgeous and amazing, but I had little expectations for how I would feel as his aunty. He was a baby, I didn't know much about babies and I didn't know how HE would make ME feel.
I can still remember sitting on my sisters hospital bed that day holding Baby T in my arms and feeling absolutely amazed that this gorgeous little person was my nephew. I felt overcome with love and emotion, and suddenly understood. I remember asking my mum "but If I love him this much, how much will I love my own child?" I was genuinely in awe of him. I felt like my heart could burst when I looked at his little face and wasted what felt like hours just staring at him.
I think that question I asked my mum all those years ago comes back to me every time I get the fear about birth and I remember the rush of love I felt the first time I met my baby nephew. Since then, another nephew and two beautiful nieces have arrived in to the world who I absolutely adore! I'm now ready for motherhood and all the love and emotion that comes with it.
Here is the moment I met Baby T for the first time.......
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